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Mindy Wheeler English Composition II May 28, 2022 Comment by Elrod, James: Hi, Mindy. I’m eager to see how your rough draft turned out. – James


Ethics in the use of animals for medical research or cosmetic testing Comment by Elrod, James: I wonder if you could un-bold and capitalize your title.

There is extensive use of animals for medical research or cosmetic testing. This matter has led to series of debates arising because of conflict of interests from different people. Some people feel it is right to use animals for such purposes rather than using human beings for those experiments. On the other hand, some people feel that the pain, suffering, and death of animals brought about by these experiments are not worth it for the sake of human benefits. Animals are just like human beings who have rights that should be valued and respected by all people indiscriminately. Nevertheless, we cannot refute the fact that it is almost impossible to avoid using animals for research and cosmetic tests as they help in giving real outcomes that would be used on human beings. Hence, any use of animals should not be abusive such that it would cause the animal permanent pain and harm. Comment by Elrod, James: “They believe” Comment by Elrod, James: I wonder if you might revise your thesis statement to contain a clearer stance and your supporting reasons. “Although animal testing should still be permitted in order to _____, it should be limited to ___ because ____, ____, and ____.”

There are several cases where a significant number of animals have been used in medical researches and cosmetic tests positively and the results were remarkable. The common animals used for these experiments are rabbits, mice, monkeys birds, rats, fish, etc. according to the UK Home Office data, the use of rabbits and mice for these researches contributes to the largest percentage which is almost 73%. Rhesus monkeys were used in the study of polio dated back to 1909. Information retrieved from this research was able to help in managing the threat of poliomyelitis in the united states. With the information acquired from that study, medics were able to come up with the vaccination to keep the spread of polio minimal. According to the Office of Technology Assessment report in 1986, the number of cases of polio reduced from over 58,000 to 4 in a span between 1952 and 1984. The use of animal research has made it possible for medical officers to perform the transplantation of human organs from one person to another. Organ transplant would not have been possible if there were no animal experimentation to determine if the process would be effective or not. Also, dogs have used to experiment with how to undertake cardiovascular treatments e.g hypertension. The use of Brattleboro rats in medical research has enabled doctors to understand the use of vasopressin hormone in cardiovascular (heart) and renal systems (kidneys). Comment by Elrod, James: How might you develop a topic sentence that establishes the counterargument? Comment by Elrod, James: The first three body paragarphs are missing in-text citations with (page or paragraph numbers). Be sure that each statement or claim in your essay that contains information or support from sources is followed with an APA-style citation. Comment by Elrod, James: How might you also clinch this paragraph with a statement that acknowledges the benefits that can come from animal testing (within reasonable limits)?

Consequently, there are cases where animals have been misused leading to intense pain, suffering, and ultimate death of the experimental animals. This has resulted in wastage since such animal products cannot be used and to some extent, it has led to the depletion of varieties of animals. The use of animals for medical research and cosmetic testing has led to the deaths of these animals. For example, in the united state’s laboratories, over one million experimental animals are killed yearly. most of these animals are made to inhale toxic gases or fumes to make them inactive for the process. This may cause a long-term effect on their health if they can recover from such experiments. Some of these animals are immobilized to restrict their movement for a couple of hours before they are mobilized again. This leads to defective mobility once they are made to move again. During these tests, most of them are isolated and kept away from the rest. This causes them psychological trauma which can adversely affect their health even after recovery from the laboratory tests. Comment by Elrod, James: The referent of this adverb is unclear. Comment by Elrod, James: Capitalized. Comment by Elrod, James: Therefore….” (What should be done?)

The use of animals is very instrumental in medical research and cosmetic testing because animals and humans are relatively similar biologically. For example, mice partake in over 98% DNA with human beings. Animals have a shorter life expectancy than human beings and therefore it is of great advantage to using animals instead of human beings for such researches. Medical research and cosmetic testing are done solely to promote and ensure that human safety is attained. The government and researchers have the right to protect patients and the people and it is for this reason that animals are used instead of trying the untested product direct on humans. For instance, some diseases like asthma and cystic fibrosis involve extremely complex physiological processes that can only be studied in a whole using a living animal thereby making animal use critical. Comment by Elrod, James: How can you keep the counterarguments contained to a single section?

The government has provided professional and ethical ways through which medical research and cosmetic testing are done without subjecting the animal to intense pain after realizing the important role that animals play (McLeod, & Hartley, 2018). The government should pass stern legislation about animal use in medical research or cosmetic testing. They should create awareness about the set regulations and procedures to protect animals from physical and psychological torture in the name of medical research. Any violation of the set procedures and laws is considered and treated as a crime punishable under the law. This should be enforced by government officials in charge of the animal protection department. McLeod & Hartely supports the use of animals only under the strict government-provided procedure through the animal rights department. Also, Heinrich et al. (2020) demonstrate the various best practices that should be embraced in the use of animal research instead of avoiding animal use. Therefore, they support the argument that animals should be used but in an ethical way to ensure that animal rights are not violated in any way. Comment by Elrod, James: How will you lead all paragraphs with your own words/ideas rather than source material? Comment by Elrod, James: This is the first instance of an in-text citation in your essay, but the source is not introduced or contextualized for the reader, nor does it contain page or paragraph numbers. Comment by Elrod, James: These might make for better topic sentences to this paragraph.

With advanced technology, there are better ways that scientists and cosmetologists use technology to avoid harming the animal and this means the animal’s life is not compromised while the desired research or test is executed and findings determined. Britto et al., support the fact that the use of animals and cosmetic testing is not violative. “ There is a systematic procedure that proves that the process animals are taken through is considerate and that animals’ rights are upheld” Therefore Britto et al., support the fact that animals should be used as long as ethical measures are applied to avoid exposing animals to pain. Human considerations should be integrated into the field of medical research and treatment to ensure the protection and safety of the endangered animals that are prone to be used as specimens during medical experimentation. Comment by Elrod, James: In addition to fully introducing the sources to establish their crediblity and context, how will you include their years of publication in parentheses? Comment by Elrod, James: How will you set-up and segue into all quotations?

On the other hand, Animals just like humans have rights that should be respected and the fact that medical research and cosmetic tests expose animals to pain means that animal rights are being violated. This is not ignoring the fact that animals should roam freely and animals being used for research and cosmetic tests are caged. This means that it is not mandatory to use animals for these types of researches because there are numerous alternatives to be used. According to Meigs et al., (2018), many other alternatives can offer similar or even better results as compared to animal use in medical research and cosmetic testing. The torture that these animals undergo is not ethical because they also deserve to live just like human beings. Similarly, as life is important to human beings, it is also important to thee animals. Why should we torture and kill these innocent animals when they are alternatives to be used? Comment by Elrod, James: Is this an appropriate transition? Are you countering anything you claimed in the previous paragraph? Comment by Elrod, James: Strong, punchy rhetorical appeals are prefereable to rhetorical questions.

Also, the model system of an animal is completely different from that of animals and hence the use of animals in research and cosmetic tests does not guarantee the effective working of the product on humans. This can be proved through a confession made by Dr. Richard Klausner, the director of the National Cancer Institute. He said, We have cured mice of cancer for decades, and it simply didn’t work in humans.” This means that if a particular test works out perfectly on an animal, it is not necessarily guaranteed that it would work on human beings as well. Most disease testing and treatment have worked so perfectly on animals but failed to work on human beings when the same treatment is issued on them. This may be due to the different genetic composition between animals and human beings. The genetic make-up between these two species varies slightly and thus, the treatment mechanism is likely to differ as well. Comment by Elrod, James: This feels like yet another counterargument. Comment by Elrod, James: Do you need to begin a n ew paragraph here?

Clemence, & Leaman, (2016) also claim that even some tested medicines and cosmetics react negatively while administered to the body due to the differences. This negates the use of animal use for cosmetic testing. Also, Vinardell & Mitjans (2017), do not support the use of animals for medical research and cosmetic test because most cosmetics react negatively to the skin of animals since the animal skin cells are different from that of humans. Hence, the authors claim there are better and sage methods to test cosmetic ingredients.

In the case technology works effectively means that it should replace animal medical research and cosmetic testing (Doke, & Dhawale, (2015). They believe that animals should not be used for medical research and cosmetic testing and instead better options should be applied with the help of modern technology. These alternatives include computer simulation, biochips, in vitro mechanisms, stem cells, and 3D images. Also, Basketter et al., (2012) acknowledge that the issue of the use of animals for research and cosmetic testing has been faced with a lot of challenges since most of these procedures have been classified as forms of violation of animal rights. Therefore, Basketter et al., advocate for a new platform to be developed to create an alternative where animals would not be exposed to medical research and cosmetic tests. Comment by Elrod, James: What about you? What are you advocating for, and how are you going beyond what Basketter et al. already argue?

Computer simulations can be used as an alternative for animal use in research. These are advanced computer programs that are used to mimic real animal testing however real animals are not used for the process. This concept was developed by Denis Noble and it is very useful in diagnosing heart ailments. Stem cells are an essential alternative to animal use in medical experiments because they are plant cells that can differentiate into human tissues therefore instrumental in the screening of human diseases. Biochips are substitute materials used in cosmetic testing instead of the use of animals for the same purpose. 3D images refer to customized organisms’ parts that are used as substitutes for animals during medical or cosmetic experimentation. In vitro mechanisms refer to man-made chips that mimic the original human body and tissues used for medical testing. Comment by Elrod, James: The in-text citations fall out of the rest of the paper, too.

These alternatives are meant to eliminate the use of animals in cosmetic testing and medical research using the concept of 3Rs, that is, refining, reducing, and replacing. Refining refers to the act of using experimental methods that minimizes pain and suffering to the animals being used as the specimen. This is to promote the wellbeing of the animals and minimal distress to them. Reducing involves methods that seek to reduce the number of animals that would be subjected to experimentation. On the other hand, replacing constitutes the experimentation methods that implement the use of non-animal models instead of real animal models. All these 3Rs work together to ensure the endangered animals are free from danger b being exposed to toxic medical experimentations.

In conclusion, this essay establishes a debate on animal rights when it comes to research and cosmetic tests Animals have been used by scientists and cosmetologists but the issue has created a heated debate of whether it is right or wrong. Millions of animals are killed and mishandled as a result of being exposed to distressing and painful procedures. Different ideas in support of the action have been raised as well as opposing views. One thing is that animals have a right and humans need to be safe as well. Hence, research and cosmetic tests on animals should be done professionally and ethically. Government should establish ethical considerations to guide professional and ethical animal use in medical research and cosmetic testing. Medical experts should be educated and sensitized towards the proper handling of animals during research to avoid causing their deaths or deformation.
























Basketter, D., Clewell, H., Kimber, I., Rossi, A., Blaauboer, B., Burrier, R., … & Hartung, T. (2012). A roadmap for the development of alternative (non-animal) methods for systemic toxicity testing.

Britto, F. P., Udupa, R., Vasist, R., & D’mello, P. X. Animal Lab Environment for Better Research: A Short Communication.

Clemence, M., & Leaman, J. (2016). Public attitudes to animal research in 2016. Ipsos Mori.

Doke, S. K., & Dhawale, S. C. (2015). Alternatives to animal testing: A review. Saudi Pharmaceutical Journal23(3), 223-229.

Heinrich, M., Appendino, G., Efferth, T., Fürst, R., Izzo, A. A., Kayser, O., … & Viljoen, A. (2020). Best practice in research–Overcoming common challenges in phytopharmacological research. Journal of Ethnopharmacology246, 112230.

McLeod, C., & Hartley, S. (2018). Responsibility and laboratory animal research governance. Science, Technology, & Human Values43(4), 723-741.

Meigs, L., Smirnova, L., Rovida, C., Leist, M., & Hartung, T. (2018). Animal testing and its alternatives: the most important omics is economics. Alternatives to Animal Experimentation: ALTEX35(3), 275-305.

Vinardell, M. P., & Mitjans, M. (2017). Alternative methods to animal testing for the safety evaluation of cosmetic ingredients: an overview. Cosmetics4(3), 30.





1. Provide one example of a place where you have used rhetorical appeals or source material to support your argument. How does this enhance your essay? (2-3 sentences)

I support the idea that animals should be used in research and cosmetic tests professionally and ethically to avoid causing them pain. As stated by Clemence, & Leaman, (2016); the public has mixed reactions due to enormous benefits that have been realized with the use of animals in research and cosmetic tests but there have been some animal rights violation cases. This information will help me enhance my essay by focusing on demonstrating how it is possible to overcome the challenges and increase the number of benefits since, over the years, the practice has yielded positive results.

2. Touchstone 4 is a revision of this draft. What kind of feedback would be helpful for you as you revise? Are there parts of your draft that you’re uncertain of? (3-4 sentences)

I would appreciate any form of objective feedback to help me revise my essay appropriately. This includes positive comments on the areas that are well done and recommendations on areas to improve on. I am uncertain whether I have maximized the use of rhetorical appeals or source materials to support my argument or not.

Touchstone 3.2 Rubric and Feedback
Rubric Category Feedback Score (acceptable, needs improvement etc.)
Argument Development and Support


The paper presents some reliable, credible information that might be used in the service of advancing an argument. However, the essay needs more direct argumentation through persuasive appeals and interpretive commentary in the body paragarphs. It also requires more frequent support from sources.  


Needs Improvement



The paper references a good number of credible sources, but it does not introduce, contextualize, or cite them effectively. 19/30

Needs Improvement

Organization The paper has a good number of paragraphs, but they all lack appeals-based topic sentences and clinchers, as well as smooth transitions. Finally, the counterarguments (and rebuttals) should be contained to a single section. 9/15

Needs Improvement



The word choices and sentence structures are varied and appropriate. The tone is informative rather than persuasive, however. 3/5

Needs Improvement

Conventions There are some errors in grammar, punctuation, and APA format scattered throughout.  



Reflection The responses to the questions meet length requirements and show good insight into your process. 5/5


Overall Score and Feedback: 63/100 Needs Improvement


You’re off to a good start. As you revise, please work on developing transitions and persuasive appeals to frame each body paragraph. Also, rework the order of paragraphs so that the counterarguments are all addressed and refuted in quick succession. Finally, and most important, be sure to introduce, contextualize, and frequently cite from your sources. Good luck!


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